I became motivated to submit an entry after reading others stories about growing up feeling they were “gay” as long as they can remember…… at THIS Inspiring BLOG page: BORN THIS WAY
= = = = = = = =
I just submitted, according to the forms, my own memory (Submissions are very restricted in length to avoid the obvious)……. and hope someday soon, I’ll write MORE detail just to have what I felt growing up recorded. Here’s what I wrote, we’ll see is it’s “acceptable”:
Name: Mark H
Photo: Year: 1962, 16 yrs old at the time
From: Portland, OR
It’s been a great time reading the inspired and heartfelt blog posts here.
It has allowed me at 64 to remember that as a kid, I always sort-of knew “something” was different….about me. But in the 50’s, in that little SE Oregon cow-town, in a religious home, I knew nothing about life until well into college.
I remember wanting a doll house at 5, the crush on Rock Hudson the first time I saw him on TV, KNOWING I needed to someday get out of that remote place. None of those feelings were connected to farming life in a town where football was king.
As others experienced, I was aware of being different but not why or what so I could not change anything. I sort of had to let myself be snickered at sometimes during PE. The most intense day I spent in high school was trying to “explain” to my “best” friend (unaware of the crush I had on him) that I was upset he was spending so much time with his girlfriend In the middle of that awkward conversation I said out loud (while just becoming aware of it), “This sounds like a girlfriend talk doesn’t it?” It bothered me so much I excused myself and went home spending that evening trying to understand what had happened. Yes. Our friendship was awkward from then on.
Lots of things happened that I “should” have been aware were gay-like, but there was SO little information then. I had NO reference for those experiences at all. I simply thought if I stayed “religious” I would grow out of those “mystery” feelings.
Luckily, my life bloomed at 21, and has from that time on. My partner and I are in our 23rd year together.
= = = = =
I HAD toyed with using one of these other pictures when I was wondering what “short” little story I could submit, but decided to keep the “family” out of it….for now:
Ah, Seems like a life from an earlier existence.